Letting Go...

People told me that there would be certain things of the kids that would be tough to let go.  For some people it's the crib, for others the car seat.  I took apart that crib faster than Teddy and Katherine can tear apart a room.  I was so sick of carrying that heavy infant car seat around that I happily passed it on.  For me it has been their toys.  Not all of them but a few special pieces here and there that I can vividly remember the first time they were played with, the look of excitement in a little toddler's eyes.  But what makes it easier is to pass them on to other children to love.  Today we did that with the kitchen set.

I'll be totally honest and say that I pined over Katherine's kitchen set much more than she ever did.  I spied it in the Pottery Barn Kids catalog and I was smitten.  No other set would do for my little girl.  We arranged it as a birthday gift for her with all of the family chipping in a little bit.  And on that fateful day, two year old Miss K awoke from her nap to find that the downstairs had been decorated for a very special party

Many a cupcake, pizza, and button soup was made in that kitchen.  Tea parties with friends, both real and stuffed, were planned and hosted.  But in the last year or so, its use had waned.  Real cooking has become much more interesting to the kids rather than pretend.  I moved it out of Katherine's room and into the kitchen in hopes that it being front and center would lead to more use.  Alas, she was growing away from it.  Even Teddy, who loved to sneak into Katherine's room to bake up something was no longer interested now that he had free access.  In the last couple of months I realized it was time to let it go, it had hardly been touched.

Given its size and our limited storage space, tucking it away for a possible future generation was not an option.  It needed to leave the house.  I thought of donating it to the kid's daycare but it seemed too special to have a room of 10+ three olds descend upon it.  I thought of lost pieces, broken doors.  No.  Logistically it was too tough to send it north to family, no way all three pieces were going to fit in a car.  So I decided a craigslist posting would be best yet I just hadn't gotten around to taking the pictures.

I happened to mention it in a passing conversation to one of our neighbors.  She immediately responded with a "I'll buy it".  She has a 3 year old son and a 2 year old daughter, perfect ages to do some cooking.  We agreed on a price and it was done. This afternoon I cleaned everything up and Teddy helped me move it over piece by piece during the kids' nap time. He helped Ms. Holly set it all up. Just like when Katherine first received it those kids were going to wake up to a big surprise.  We snuck quietly out of the house like little elves just as she started to hear little Vivi stir.  Teddy promised to return sometime to give her and Zack a cooking lesson.
Tomorrow, in it's place, will be three new bar stools that I scored on Craigslist, strangely enough from someone just one neighborhood over.  Our kid's will be spending a lot more time perched on those stools while we make dinner, more time than they have spent playing with the kitchen set in the last six months.  And two houses over a little girl and her big brother will be cooking up a culinary feast.  Button stew may not be the specialty of that house but whatever it is it will be made by four little loving hands.  I can't wait to taste it.

The Edge of Summer

I feel like summer's been here for weeks already but we're only starting.  I'm not sure why, we haven't had a warmer than usual spring and Katherine still has a week and a half of school left.  But I had to remind myself when I looked at looked at our small tomato plants in the garden this evening...that it was only June 1st. They should be small. It's not even summer yet, officially.  But we've already had a taste of it and we're ready for more.

And what a summer coming up for the kids.  A week in Virginia.  Two weeks in Massachusetts. An end of the summer trip to see the Mouse and dine with Cindy and the girls (more on that later).  Lots of swimming.  Time with friends.  Lately the kids have been spending most of their home days outside running around with the neighborhood kids rather than inside in front of the TV.  This is as it should be.  My favorite memories of summer growing up are of playing outside from the moment we woke up until the time we went to sleep. Their still too young for Twilight Laser Tag but maybe someday.  Katherine asked this afternoon when we were going to get a new tent.  I don't know if I'm ready for a backyard camp out but I think the kids would be game.

Ted went outside with them tonight to catch fireflies.  They did it for the first time last night, kind of an impromptu moment in the neighbor's yard while the adults were chatting and drinking beer up on the porch.  Our bug man Teddy loved it, he caught a bunch with his bare hands.  I caught a peek at them running around, watching for the flashes.  I saw Teddy reach right out and grab one.  Katherine reported that she had one that "didn't want to leave me and fly away."  I see a few night time fires in the fire pit in our future, relaxing while the kids run around chasing the glow.

We've only just begun.

What I really want for Mother's Day

I got posts in my head about family, first communions and running updates.  But this one got me this morning.  Since our morning is spent getting ourselves and two kids dressed and out the door, my first 30 minutes at work is spent eating breakfast, reading email and checking up on the news (AKA, what has the state legislature done today).  But this morning I happened over to NBC News where this article caught my eye…what working moms really want for Mother’s Day.  Against my better judgment, I clicked on it.

Let’s be honest here.  I love my kids.  I love my husband.  I love spending time with them.  Do I wish there were more minutes in the day to be with them?  Most days, yes.  Do I feel that Ted and I share in the household duties?  Absolutely, it’s a regular tag team event around here. But now that the honesty’s out of the way, let’s be real. 

What would I really like for Mother’s Day?  To be left alone. 

There.  I said it.  But I know you’re all thinking it too.

A day where I’m not asked to wipe a tush, make some chocolate milk, get me this, get me that, sit next to me  and definitely not have all this requested to me all at the same time. To come back from a long run and not feel that I immediately have to jump back in, cause, wow, I've been gone over an hour.  Where a grocery run isn't the opportunity to get away. Where the sensor that was secretly implanted into my behind during childbirth that alerts one or both children to scream out "Mommy!" the second said behind so much as grazes the seat of a chair doesn't work.  Just one day where I wake up and do whatever I want, whenever I want for the ENTIRE day.  Good GOD, I wouldn't know what to with myself.

Why is it when mothers are asked a simple question of what THEY want do they always feel that the answer must involve someone else in some way?  Why did the article have to devolve into some discussion on how working mothers feel guilty that they just can’t get everything done at home and spend quality time with their families?  Do the challenges of working moms (and dads) need to be discussed since, according to the article, 70% of us are working?  For sure.  But why does an article that’s starts out asking these moms what they REALLY want for Mothers Day have to end with the “I’m not a good Mom because I have to work and I just can’t devote enough to my family” vibe? The third sentence in the article is a quote from one Mom: “I don’t even miss time for myself.” 

Are you SERIOUS???? News Flash…I do! Up until about a year ago, I wasn't even guaranteed the opportunity to use the bathroom alone. And it’s still about 60/40 that someone won't come looking for me. At least the odds are in my favor now. Those long runs I mentioned up there?  I look forward to them...dare we say cherish them... because it’s my time to be alone with my own music and my own thoughts. 

It’s as if the proper, expected response is “I want nothing more than to spend a wonderful day with my husband and kids.” (actual quote from the article) or “I don’t need anything as long as my family is happy and healthy.”  La De Da De Da…And all is right with the world.

I’d be willing to place some money on the fact that there are a lot of other mothers, both working AND stay at home, that want the same thing as me for Mother’s Day.  And a bunch of father’s too when it's their turn. Come Father’s Day, I’m more than willing to return the favor, because I bet that Ted would love being left alone for a day too.  Just don’t make us feel all guilty about giving a completely honest, although less than altruistic response to the question.  Parenting is tough work and everyone needs a mental health day now and then.  And it's ok to admit it.

Four

Teddy turned four last Saturday.

How is it that we are at four already?  Though some of the baby features are still there, the button nose, the dimples, the fat feet and little hands, it is clear that he is more little boy than baby at this point and becoming a little boy more and more each day.  He tries his best to keep up with his big sister and plays with the big kids in the neighborhood as much as they'll let him.  He holds his own and has been known to be the one to cause the trouble rather than be the recipient of it.  We're still learning the ways of the word no and what it means not to get your way all the time. This summer is going to be an adventure with him.

He's still the snuggler he was as a newborn.  During those quiet moments at home he prefers to be sitting right next to you, prefers to be close to or touching someone at all times.  If he had his way, he would sleep right next to me every night, feet shoved right underneath me for comfort.  Thankfully during the past year he learned to sleep more soundly straight through the night, although I will still get early morning requests to come "lay with me".

He still loves dinosaurs. And cars. And legos. And whatever toy his sister is currently playing with that she won't let him touch.  He loves to go in her room whenever she'll let him and try as I might I can't convince her that the more she shuts her door, the more enticing it is to him.  He got his new red Radio Flyer wagon this week and already one of his favorite things is to have her pull him in it.

I know that the coming year will be a big transition as he spends his last year in preschool and gets ready for the jump to kindergarten.  I know he become even more of a little boy.  And while part of my sheds a tear for the baby boy that he was, most of me is excited to watch him grow.  He moved into the four year old room official yesterday and he was so excited to show us his new hook and cubby this morning.  I still got my hug and kiss on the cheek at drop off but it was much more fleeting, kind of a "bye Mom, you can go, I'm going to have fun today while you're gone."  The teachers who have been there since he was a newborn commented this week on how much he's grown.  This morning showed me that he's proud of that growth too!

Happy Fourth Birthday to my Teddy Bear!

Half Marathon Recap

To half marathon or not to half marathon, that was the question.  You probably all remember that back in the early fall we signed up for the Asheville/Biltmore Marathon.  Well, once December came that quickly became the Asheville/Biltmore Half Marathon.  The back to back halves in November took a lot out of us and come December we realized our thinking that there would be plenty of time to pick up and start a full marathon training schedule was…well…nuts.  Once they sent out the notice that a half marathon option was available, we jumped on it.

As it got closer to race weekend I started religiously keeping tabs on the weather forecast.  At first things looked good, sunny and in the mid-50’s.  But it went downhill from there.  Each day the chance of precipitation crept up to the point that in the days leading up to the race there was no way around it…it was going to rain.  It was just a matter of when it would start raining.  We were not going to escape this event without getting wet.

I told myself and Ted that nope, no way, not happening. I was not going to run in the rain. In fact I made the definitive statement that should it be pouring the morning of the race, you would find me downstairs at the hotel, in front of the fireplace, with a hot cup of something.

Last Saturday was absolutely gorgeous.  We arrived at the Expo around lunchtime and picked up our packets and t-shirts.  I happened to mention to the lady at the waiver form table about the rain and her response was “It will still be better than last year.”  Last year?  I guess the high for last year’s race was 20 degrees.  Two. Zero.  Even in the rain, it would be better because it was going to be 20-30 degrees warmer.  At that point I realized two things: 1. the other 1,499 people registered for these races didn’t care one bit that it was going to rain.  Well, they probably cared but it wasn’t going to stop them.  And 2. There was no way I was going to bow out without looking like a real wimp.  It was on.

A quick lunch (Welcome to Moe’s!) and we headed up to the hotel.  We made the decision when we registered that we would splurge and stay on the estate at the Inn at Biltmore for the convenience it offered on race day.  Roll out of bed and to the start line.  Cross the finish line and be in a warm shower within minutes.  Plus, OMG, that was hands down, the nicest hotel we have ever stayed at.  Clearly we had entered upper crust here and I put myself in check to make sure I didn't do something stupid like scratch my butt in the lobby (not exactly, but you get my drift).  We checked in, put our stuff in our room (gorgeous and private but I’m not going to publicly announce our room because I loved it so much I don’t want anyone to snatch it up next year, cause I’m considering requesting it.)  We went with one of their basic King rooms and it did not disappoint.  Here’s a picture of the front of the hotel:

And the back:

Since it was so nice we headed down the hill to Antler Hill Village.  The first time we were at Biltmore, we were too tired after touring the house so we skipped it. Check out these views on our walk: 

First stop, the winery.  Or rather, the winery shop and tasting room, although you can take a tour of the actual winery.  Now, I’ll admit that I don’t like wine.  Not at all.  And I so wish that I did.  Why?  Because it looked like so much fun!  And the smell was incredible, how is it that I don’t like the taste but I love the smell?  There were clearly quite a few people hanging, tasting the wind, devouring the chees and crackers.  I’d say most of them were getting blitzed in the process.  Seemed like a crime to leave without a bottle.  After that we looked at some of the other shops, the farm exhibit, the Vanderbilt exhibit (small, but lovely) and ended the afternoon with dinner at The Bistro.  Pumpkin cannelloni…incredible.  Time to rest up for race day.

I’ll admit that I tossed and turned a bit in my sleep that night (in one of the world’s most comfortable beds). At some point I realized I was being crazy…it was just rain…it wasn’t going to hurt me. I don’t know why it was bothering me so much.  And luckily when we woke up, it wasn’t raining yet.  That was enough for me to get up, get dressed and head down to the start line.  In my fear of the evil rain, I may have overdressed a bit…compression knee socks, running tights, long sleeve shirt, long sleeve half zip and gloves.  This meant I was not cold one bit at the start line, my big mistake in Raleigh.  Our luck ran out about 5 minutes before the start, it began sprinkling.  However, once we got going, I didn’t notice it was raining.  In fact, big surprise, I was hot.

So let’s talk about the course.  Beautiful, even in the rain.  Actually, I was disappointed it was raining for the sheer fact that I wanted to take some pictures as we were running along.  I didn’t want to risk damage to my iPhone, so it stayed tucked safely in the pouch.  The race began with rolling hills for miles one through three.  Mile two was a slow steady incline that almost got me, it had me wondering if I was going to be able to run through the whole thing.  Luckily that was followed by a decline of an equal distance which allowed be to catch my breath.  Then we rounded the corner at the gate house and it was on.  The run up to the mansion.  

If you’ve ever been on the Biltmore property, we were running up Approach Road, two plus miles straight uphill.  Some areas steeper than others, it was more the length of the incline than the degree. When we were training for the race, people frequently commented that it was going to be tough simply because we would be running at a higher altitude that we’re used to. Zebulon is 322 feet above sea level.  This race had a top elevation of 2,338 feet and featured an ascent of 716 feet.  I won’t lie, it had its moments.  The rain actually felt good when we were running up to the house.  There were a lot of twists and turns, a few of which faked me out thinking we had made it, only to go around the bend and see yet another incline in front of me.  

Finally, we rounded a corner and the gates were in front of us.  All of a sudden we emerged from the woods and saw this.

I may or may not have let out a “Hallelujah!” We ran around the front of the house then down through the gardens.  This was the half-way point for the race.  From there it was about two miles downhill, which felt wonderful.  When we hit the bottom, I was spent.  Thankfully the rest of the race was flat, along the river.  There were some great views of the house up on the hill, again rain prevented a picture.  We made it to the finish line and crossed with a time of 2:24.  Slower than my Raleigh time of 2:17 but still faster than my times at my two first halves, which were each about 2:30 (we won’t talk about the Outer Banks). I ran the whole thing.  No pain anywhere.  And I felt pretty good afterwards.  This is a big leap forward for me.

After we got our medals, fleece blankets (yup!), and our swag bag of food we headed back up the hill to the hotel.  Splurging on the accommodations was well worth it when you are in a hot shower within 20 minutes of completing the race.  We relaxed for a bit and then spent the afternoon touring Biltmore House (amazing how quick the ride back up that hill was in the hotel shuttle!).  That evening we celebrated with a dinner in the dining room at the hotel.  It was swank!

Us right before our celebratory dinner:

So all in all, I would give this race high marks. Staying at the inn made getting there super easy for us, so I can’t comment on the shuttle buses from the other hotels.  Race swag, pretty good.  Nice short sleeve technical running shirt and a nice fleece blanket at the finish.  Other odds and ends included gloves to use and toss at the race, a neck warmer, bag to use for gear check, two reusable grocery bags, and lots of free snacks after the race.  There regular public restrooms at the start in addition to the porta potties, which is a big plus.  Food and drink along the course was pretty good too, I especially liked the sliced orange quarters.  And the refueling stops were fairly frequent, more frequent than the other races we’ve been to.  I’d say the only drawback was the weather, which made parts of the course a bit muddy.  Even some of our race photos came out nice, although I’m not sure the cost is worth it.  I was glad we ran the half instead of the full.  Obviously our training level played most into that decision but considering the rain and the what seemed to me to be a confusing full course, I’m happy.  Had we run the full we would have finished in a full out torrential downpour, probably full of mud too.

We’re already registered for next year’s race, Ted is going to go for the full, I’m sticking with the half.  We plan on booking our room as soon as the official dates are announced. I think Biltmore and Asheville has become a special place for us. Let’s hope the third year is a charm for the organizers and they get a beautiful spring day.

But I want to!

It's a phase I told myself, just like all the other phases. It will pass.  And lo and behold the worst of it seems to be over.  But when I first jotted down this post we were in the throes of it and it seemed like he would never be over, it would never improve.

At the time were were having a battle of wills with Teddy.  Basically he was learning the hard lesson that you can't always do what you want.  Or more specifically, life doesn't run according you a script that you alone create and direct at your every whim.  It went something like this:

Me (as I head down the stairs with my arm stuff): C'mon Teddy, let's head downstairs.
Teddy: I want you to carry me!
Me: No, my arms of full of things so you will have walk yourself down the stairs.
Teddy: But I want you to carry me!
Me: No.
Teddy (who at this point is sitting at the top of the stairs crying!):  I wanted you to carry me down before you brought the stuff downstairs!
Me: Let's go Teddy, I'm already downstairs
Teddy: Bring the stuff back up and then carry me!

Can we see where this is going?  What was and is really frustrating is that these episodes were/are completely unpredictable.  All of a sudden something does not occur to his liking and it's full on tantrum.  During the weekend of the stairs meltdown we had also had episodes over who turned out the light and the fact that I warmed up his hot chocolate.  Apparently hot chocolate shouldn't be hot.  There was one because I flushed the potty for him during daycare drop off.  Yes folks, tears over who flushed the toilet.  I've tried to decipher whether the tantrums happen more when he's tired or when we're about to transition into another activity or something but I haven't noticed any pattern.

I should also say these episodes are frustrating just because of the minutes it adds on to doing whatever task we're trying to accomplish while I wait out his little moment. The more you get and angry and yell, the more it escalates the situation. Yup, it becomes a full grown battle of wills each time.  And 90% of the time my will is much stronger than a 3 year old's.  The other 10% involve times where we either need to get moving and I don't have time or I'm too tired to deal.  However, most times I have found it is best if you just calmly tell him that you'll be over here waiting for him to calm down and to let you know when he is ready.  And then go about your business. After a few minutes, you'll hear a little voice "I'm ready Mommy."  This is usually followed up with "Ok, but next time..."

I'd say in the last two weeks the number of tantrums has noticeably decreased.  We'll still have one every few days or so, got to keep us parents on our toes!  But I can at least see it with a bit more perspective.  What also helped?  This website:

25 Reasons Why Your Kid is Crying

Seems we're not the only ones!  As a parent, knowing that makes all the difference.

Snow Day!

I should probably say snow days, since it turned into four days off for the kids.  All of you in the Northeast are getting it right now but last week at this time it was our turn.  Of course, it doesn't take as much snow around here to cause a ruckus and I'm thankful we only got the 4 inches or so that we did.  It was plenty for the kids and they had a ball. I did want us to get one good snow this year.  It had been years since we had one, I don't think Teddy had ever experienced a really good snowfall at our house...Papa and Gram's house, yes...but not here.  Neither of them believed me Tuesday morning when I told them that school was cancelled because it was going to snow.  They spent the day fort building, looking outside, and looking at me with the expression of "you said it was going to snow, where is it?"  It may have started later than anticipated but this is what we woke up to Wednesday morning:

They were asking to go out before they even finished breakfast. And they stayed out pretty much all day, only coming for quick breaks.  I forgot how exhausting it is to get kids dressed and undressed for the snow, we must have done it at least four times that day (that would be four dressings and four undressings).  Our clothes dryer was a workhorse!  Little did we know that Katherine was coming down with strep, I think with the excitement of the snow she was running on pure adrenaline.

The neighborhood sledding hill was in our front yard, which I loved because I could sit at my desk and keep an eye on what was going on at the same time (doesn't look like much in the picture but it's a decent hill for small kids to sled on).

Now that we've had our snow, I'm good. Time for Spring! If it didn't take up so many days I wouldn't mind but four school days to make up is enough for this year! With not enough equipment to get the secondary roads, they just cancel school and wait for it to melt.  This New Englander has long stopped being frustrated about it.