But I want to!

It's a phase I told myself, just like all the other phases. It will pass.  And lo and behold the worst of it seems to be over.  But when I first jotted down this post we were in the throes of it and it seemed like he would never be over, it would never improve.

At the time were were having a battle of wills with Teddy.  Basically he was learning the hard lesson that you can't always do what you want.  Or more specifically, life doesn't run according you a script that you alone create and direct at your every whim.  It went something like this:

Me (as I head down the stairs with my arm stuff): C'mon Teddy, let's head downstairs.
Teddy: I want you to carry me!
Me: No, my arms of full of things so you will have walk yourself down the stairs.
Teddy: But I want you to carry me!
Me: No.
Teddy (who at this point is sitting at the top of the stairs crying!):  I wanted you to carry me down before you brought the stuff downstairs!
Me: Let's go Teddy, I'm already downstairs
Teddy: Bring the stuff back up and then carry me!

Can we see where this is going?  What was and is really frustrating is that these episodes were/are completely unpredictable.  All of a sudden something does not occur to his liking and it's full on tantrum.  During the weekend of the stairs meltdown we had also had episodes over who turned out the light and the fact that I warmed up his hot chocolate.  Apparently hot chocolate shouldn't be hot.  There was one because I flushed the potty for him during daycare drop off.  Yes folks, tears over who flushed the toilet.  I've tried to decipher whether the tantrums happen more when he's tired or when we're about to transition into another activity or something but I haven't noticed any pattern.

I should also say these episodes are frustrating just because of the minutes it adds on to doing whatever task we're trying to accomplish while I wait out his little moment. The more you get and angry and yell, the more it escalates the situation. Yup, it becomes a full grown battle of wills each time.  And 90% of the time my will is much stronger than a 3 year old's.  The other 10% involve times where we either need to get moving and I don't have time or I'm too tired to deal.  However, most times I have found it is best if you just calmly tell him that you'll be over here waiting for him to calm down and to let you know when he is ready.  And then go about your business. After a few minutes, you'll hear a little voice "I'm ready Mommy."  This is usually followed up with "Ok, but next time..."

I'd say in the last two weeks the number of tantrums has noticeably decreased.  We'll still have one every few days or so, got to keep us parents on our toes!  But I can at least see it with a bit more perspective.  What also helped?  This website:

25 Reasons Why Your Kid is Crying

Seems we're not the only ones!  As a parent, knowing that makes all the difference.