So close I can smell it...

The things we have had to go through just to get some hardwood floors in our kitchen.  We've already discussed the two heating/AC systems that had to be replaced, which delayed us by a couple of years.  Well, thanks to the IRS this year we decided to go for it before something else broke and start exploring our options to finally get the floors.  Last Thursday, I was all ready to do a blog post that started something like this:

See that?  That's a contract for hardwood flooring for our kitchen.  We intially decided to use Empire Today based on a recommendation from one of Ted's coworkers and the "helpful and knowledgeable" salesman that came to our house (or so we thought).  Friday was the big installation day.  This is what the installers showed up with: 

As you can see, that isn't even close to matching our existing floors.  In fact, the first words out of my mouth were "You're not going to install that floor are you?"  Because it looked NOTHING like the samples that we saw when the salesman was at our house.  The installers knew there was a problem immediately.  We compared what was brought to what was ordered, everything was correct on that end. We got the salesman on the phone who basically fed me a load of you know what..."That's really the best you're going to do."  He didn't want to hear me say that the floor looked much darker, really completely different, than the sample we were shown. "The installers just pulled dark boards out of the box."   Luckily these guys were great and not only let me know that I was getting horrible customer service, they got on the phone on their end and let their supervisors know what was happening.  They took a look at our existing hardwoods and said that we definitely could find a much better match and that if Empire could not help we should go elsewhere. 

So after they left I got right on the phone with Empire customer service (not the salesman) and ended up with talking with the regional sales manager.  When I started to go into the experience with the salesman:  "Oh I already know what happened, your installers had me on the phone."  Asked me to send him pictures of the wood and he would take a look and see if they could get a better match.  I did and shortly afterwards he called me back to let me know that: #1 we were matching sanded hardwood to prefinished so we would never find an exact match. Which DUH, we already knew that. However, we want prefinished in the kitchen for the durability and he did agree what was brought (based on the salesman's "expertise") wasn't even in the ballpark.  #2 unfortunately they didn't have a good match.  The contract was cancelled immediately (pretty easy to do since we hadn't paid them anything).  Great service from Empire at that level but seriously, you guys need to have a heart to heart with that salesman.

There we were back at square one.  And while I was disappointed not to have new floors I also felt confident in our decision to refuse the install.  On Saturday we decided to stop at Lowes on the way home from grocery shopping, just to begin looking again.  And there it was.  Right there in the front of the flooring section, ON SALE, ladies and gentlemen: our floors.

Now that's a better match!  Pretty much an exact match in some places (The best we can do....HA! Take THAT Mr. "I just want my commission" salesman!). A quick call to the installers, who were more than happy to drive back out to take on the job (gotta love subcontractors), and I was on my way to Lowes to pick up the materials.  Why do I always seem to be the one who gets to drive the car when it is loaded down?

Needless to say I drove back very slowly.  Almost took back roads until the guy at Lowes mentioned that the highway would be a whole lot smoother compared to the turns and bumps I would encounter by going the other way.  I stayed in the right lane and luckily traffice was very light.  All those boxes you see are now sitting in our dining room stinking up our house with the smell of fresh wood...ahhhh!

I promise some before and after pictures come March 11th.

And the winner is...

Its official, Katherine will be attending Zebulon Elementary School this fall. I was already 90% sure of this but I wanted to check out the charter school in our town, because who knows, we may be missing out on an incredible educational experience. The open house was this past Thursday.

Let me preface this with a disclaimer that if your family attends a charter school, this is by no means an attempt to make you feel terrible. I’m glad it works for your family. But this is also my blog and not yours so I’m going to shoot from the hip and tell it like I saw it.

It’s actually hard to pin down the experience of that open house in words but I’ll do my best. First off, when I walked in the gym, the place was PACKED with people. Easily 200 families, probably more. And everyone looked exactly the same, if you know what I mean. It also seemed like they all knew each other, if I had to guess it’s because they all attend Zebulon Baptist Church. Granted, Ted and I don’t get out much so maybe its own fault that I didn’t know a soul there. With the exception of…and get this one…the people we bought our house from who were sitting directly behind me. Small world.

So the formal presentation, if you want to call it that, began with the head of the “PALS: Partners in Academic Learning” parent group (wearing her PALS polo shirt!) welcoming everyone and handing things off to one of the headmasters who proceeded to expound on the benefits of attending a charter school. “We give parents choice!” The whole presentation was heavy on the propaganda and low on the details. This is a K-12 charter school so if you “choose” to attend (meaning you get one of the coveted lottery slots) you’re pretty much there for the duration. I wanted to hear a comprehensive presentation that told me about the whole school. They chose instead to focus solely on kindergarten and even those details were sketchy at best. One member of the “kindergarten team” gave a presentation that would have made my public school teacher father quiver in his shoes. Basically that “traditional” public schools offer only passive learning with little student involvement in education. Teachers are not actively interested in student achievement. However, a school of the 21st century, which of course they are, is a much more dynamic experience with teachers that actually care about their students. Another teacher gave a brief overview of the kindergarten’s day, which didn’t really seem like anything special compared to any other school and seemed to have less variety in offerings than Zebulon Elementary. Another one got up and went through (sort of) the year in kindergarten… “Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring, we celebrate all of the seasons here at East Wake Academy.” She made sure to emphasize the field trips with Mom and Dad because “all transportation is provided by parent volunteers”.

So once the formalities ended they opened up the floor to questions and I guess everyone in the room had already drunk the kool aide because for the amount of people in that gym a sum total of 3 questions were asked. Yes, that’s it, THREE and I was one of them. I asked how many lottery slots there were. “35, next!” I had follow up questions of how large the actual kindergarten class was because based on the vague details they had given I estimated the entire class to be around 80-90 students. I knew siblings of existing students had automatic acceptance but that would mean there are 45-55 soon to be kindergarteners with older siblings already at the school??? That number seemed high but who knows because I never got the chance to ask the question. Made me wonder if there was another way one gained admission to the school…

Anyways, after the very brief Q&A period we were invited to talk one on one with the various tables they had set up around the school: uniform table, school nurse, “specials teachers” which was what they called the art, music and PE teachers, and the all important admissions table. If you wanted to see the classrooms “they are back through those double doors”. Meaning you aren’t getting any formal tours around here but feel free to walk around the first floor of the elementary building (no need to open up the rest of the school for you to see). I joined the herd, walked through a few classrooms, did the loop around the building and abruptly walked myself out to my car and drove home.

I realized on the way home why they didn’t try harder at the open house. They didn’t have to. They will easily get 150+ applications for those 35 kindergarten slots. There’s no need to go beyond the propaganda. Clearly I was one of the few in that gym who was not bought into the whole concept. In fact, if the people there knew that I decided NOT to put an application, that I probably would NOT accept a slot if offered one at that school they would gasp, “Are you mad woman?!?!” Do I think East Wake Academy offers a great classroom experience? You bet. Are the facilities beautiful? Oh, of course. Is it the right fit for our family? Not a chance. Do I think that Zebulon Elementary being a magnet school for gifted and talented has more to offer her? Yes, I do.

I realized that what you are getting at East Wake Academy is an escape. By placing your child in this bubble for the next 13 years you will escape the horrors (ha!) of regular public school, which in these people’s minds means avoiding a poor and, dare I say it, racially diverse student population. By not offering transportation, by requiring students bring lunch to school every day (no cafeteria), by requiring uniforms and monthly parent volunteer hours they are self selecting a particular population of student, a particular “brand” of family that is appropriate for the school. And they aren’t trying all that hard to hide it. You could see it the second you walked in the gym.

What made me sick to my stomach is that this is a PUBLIC school. You don’t pay a dime to go there (ok, uniforms but that is what you would pay for school clothes anyways). They get a portion of the state’s public school funds. Yet they operate very much like a private school. One could argue that these parents want the look and feel of a private school education, a private school experience but have the public pay for it. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, so to speak. In my opinion, all they are doing is taking public money and resources away from students that really need it. These kids would succeed in any educational environment.

The headmaster did make a point to mention that bill that is currently going through the NC Legislature to raise the cap on the number of charter schools that are allowed in the state. He hoped that everyone in the gym would push for the passage of the bill. After this experience, I’m inclined to write to my representatives and urge them NOT to vote for the bill. If you don’t like the public schools, either get involved to improve them or pay to send your kids to private school. The last thing we need in 2011 is more elitist environments like that being funded on the public dollar.

My Turn

It’s interesting the little things you remember from childhood. When I was Katherine’s age my mom went to a bible study every now and then at a neighbor’s house. I still had one more year to go before kindergarten so I played with the other little kids in the playroom in the basement. There was a woman who I guess volunteered to watch the little kids, or maybe they took turns, I don’t remember. What I do remember is that one morning in particular I really, really, wanted to go upstairs and see my mom. The lady wouldn’t let me. At some point she was distracted with another kid or something and I took that as my opportunity to split and made for the door. I got halfway up the stairs before she came out of the room and told me to come back down. I burst into tears, which of course prompted the adults upstairs to see what was up. I don’t know exactly what happened next but I know there were words exchanged between my mom and this lady. I remember being in the car as my mom pulled it out of the driveway and her telling me that it was not right for that lady to do that. The next time I was there I brought my own toys and played quietly in the living room while the ladies had their bible study at the kitchen table. I know I am leaving out a lot of details from the cobwebs of my four year old brain but the point is that my mom knew I wasn’t being treated well by someone else and she stood up for me.

Now it’s my turn.

I bring up this story because I’ve been thinking about it this week after Katherine’s dentist appointment. We all know of Katherine’s doctor phobia, which while very frustrating, is something that Ted and I are trying to patiently deal with. And while she has made strides at the pediatrician’s office, I wasn’t stupid; I knew this dentist visit wasn’t going to be completely smooth. I warned the hygienist the minute she came out the door to get Katherine that she was generally doctor phobic.

What I wasn’t prepared for was that the hygienist would have little patience for this and instead of viewing my child as being genuinely terrified viewed it more as a just plain misbehavior. While she said I was welcome to stay with Katherine, I felt uncomfortable in the room and she made no move to make me feel welcome by telling me where exactly to put myself. Instead I hovered at the doorway. Katherine climbed right up into the chair but you could tell her anxiety level was slowly rising. The hygienist was ready to just get right to it, grabbed an instrument in each hand, turned the light on and went for it. Within 10 seconds she turned to me and said “She may need to go to a pediatric dentist.” Mind you, this is a practice with the words “Family Dentistry” on their front sign. Katherine sat there crying in the chair with her blankie over her mouth. No way was she getting that blankie away from her face (my mistake, yes, for bringing blankie). At one point she tried to take the blankie and put it in Katherine’s lap which one served to upset her even more. At this point she gave up, turned to me repeat that Katherine probably needs to go to a pediatric dentist that she was going to go and see if Dr. Creech wanted to see her but that she wasn’t going to try to do anything (I want to say she said something like “put up with this” but I think I’m imagining it). She left and came back and said Dr. Creech would be in shortly. She sat down, made some notes and started to ask Katherine (who was sitting in chair clutching blankie and whimpering) some questions. Completely pointless as far as I was concerned, the kid was upset.

“Do you brush your teeth in the morning?”
“Do you brush your teeth before you go to bed?”
“Are you deaf? Can you hear me?”

Oh yes, she did. I don’t know why but it didn’t click with me to start asking the lady a few questions of my own. At some point she mentioned how long she should brush her teeth and asked if she had a tooth brush timer. When Katherine shook her head, she gave one to her. I asked about the phobia and started to explain Katherine’s limited experience with the dentist which included getting a tooth pulled but then stopped. This lady didn’t care. Her response? “There are kids younger than her that come here and behave better than this”. At some point I mentioned that I wasn’t sure if I was helping or hindering by being there, she didn’t respond. At that point Dr. Creech came and as I explained before he just seemed to set everything straight. Katherine left smiling and giving him high fives.

I didn’t leave smiling, I knew something was wrong. Looking back at that appointment in my mind, I want to scream “Snap out of it stupid and DO SOMETHING!” I didn’t at the moment but the more I thought about it, I knew I wasn’t doing right by my child. And while she doesn’t to be affected one bit by what that hygienist said or did it sat with me all week. I knew one thing; she wasn’t seeing that woman again. Thought about taking her to a different practice in town. Thought about taking her to my dentist in Raleigh who I love (logistics there would be difficult). I also thought of the positive experience she had with Dr. Creech. So I stewed on it.

This morning I made a call to office and talked with the office manager. I first inquired about whether they had another hygienist, to which she reply no they just had the one but that Dr. Creech does cleanings as well. I briefly explained our visit, not getting too nitpicky, just going over the overall experience and mentioned the “Are you deaf?” conversation. Her immediate response “That’s not right, that’s not right at all.” Said the situation would be addressed immediately and very discreetly. I mentioned Katherine’s phobia and that I was not trying to make excuses for it. She said that a lot of kids are afraid and that what happened wasn’t acceptable. Apologized and changed Katherine’s appointment so that she would just be seeing Dr. Creech from now on.

We’ll give them another chance. In the meantime I have a dentist appointment coming up and I’m thinking asking my hygienist if it’s ok to take her along with me. Let her watch me get my teeth cleaned and ask as many questions as she wants. Logistically I don’t think it would work out to take her to my dentist on a regular basis because it would require trucking her back and forth from Zebulon to Raleigh and back to Raleigh for work but for this one day I could make it happen. Plus like I said, she thought Dr. Creech was a pretty cool guy, let’s build on that.

Oh, the relief I felt when I hung up the phone. I stood up for my child and did what was right. You better believe I’m going to sleep easier tonight.

Uh Oh!!

Shhhhh

My family doesn't know I'm awake and I'm wondering when I should let them in on my secret.  We had a tougher than usual night last night and I'm ready to cry uncle.  At 10 months today kid, it's time to start sleeping through the night.  Ted woke up early this morning and told me if I didn't go back to sleep that I should just "relax".  I'm a horrible relaxer, I get it from my father and his mother (hey Grandma!).  We're the type of people that just can't sit still very well.  Even when you think I'm just relaxing I can assure you that my mind is racing.  The plight of the Type A.

Ha!  That was Saturday morning.  Five minutes after I typed that everyone was in bed with me.  It's like they can smell it the second I wake up.  In case you can't tell, it's not Saturday morning anymore

So what's new around here?  Mostly just the same old, same old but a few big events:

• A few weeks ago Teddy started saying "mamamama" and "dadadada" fairly regularly and usually when he was in the presence of Ted or myself.  I didn't really think he was making the connection to what he was saying but, hey, I'll take it.  However, since then he's not uttered either syllable...which confirms he hasn't a clue what he's saying.
• On the walking front, he's starting to LET GO after he pulls himself up.  Only for a brief nanosecond here and there but he's doing it. He's also starting to push around his little car, though only on his knees unless we help him stand up. One step closer to walking.
• On the sleeping front, it's the same old, same old...we think there's improvements but I hesitate to mention them.

And the biggest news of all for Miss K...she's registered for kindergarten.  Really this is a non event as far as she's concerned since she wasn't there with me and hasn't a clue that it really happened at all. But to me it was an unbelievable moment that my baby girl starts kindergarten this fall.

She also went to the dentist yesterday.  Were there tears?  Oh yes but I'm told she made strides since her last appointment when they couldn't get near her mouth.  This time she actually let the dentist look in her mouth with a bit of coaxing.  According to the dentist we just keep bringing for her regular appointments, we "keep it positive" and he feels gradually she'll get used to it.  Overall, I am really impressed with the dentist.  The hygenist, well, that's a different story, for another post.

Daddy, his little girl and their XBox...

So here I am at work on a Tuesday morning taking a quick peak at the news in between tasks. Ted will be thrilled to read this:

Gaming with Your Daughter is Good for her

Katherine's already showing signs of being a future gamer.  I'm in trouble since I never made it much past Ms. PacMan...which we own for the XBox in case you were wondering.